What is the systemic approach?
as cohesive systems Every
person is part of a family and bonded by ties of birth to
the family's mutual fate. These ties remain, even if your
parents are unknown to you, or if you have been raised
outside your family of birth. As individuals, we are not as
free as we would sometimes like to believe.
Families are systems in which certain basic forces are
extremely powerful. The operational forces that have been
observed in family systems are: bonding, order, and a
balance of giving and taking. Each (family)system strives
towards balance in response to these forces.
to belong Every
member of a system has an equal right to belong to the
system. If someone has been excluded, forgotten or not
respected, another member of the family will restore the
balance by identifying with this person. At the purely
unconscious level of the 'soul', he or she will take on the
fate and behaviour of the excluded person.
of love In
each system, certain orders seem to be operating which need
to be respected in order to keep the environment a healthy
and loving one for its members . If the balance has been
disrupted by some difficult fate, (e.g. a mother who is
severely ill or has died at an early age) the system may
react by changing the position of some family members in
order to insure survival (e.g. an eldest daughter may move
into a mother position). In this way, the 'natural' order
is disturbed and entanglements may result.
things first One
of the unwritten laws of systems seems to be that what
happens first in time takes precedence over that what
happens later. (i.e., a couple relationship takes
precedence over being a parent, parents take precedence
over their children, the oldest child takes precedence over
the next ones, etc.).
When this order is disturbed, it may indicate an
entanglement due to an earlier event or some difficult fate
in the family.
For the other 'orders' which have been observed in
families, we refer to the literature.
Literature "Love's Hidden Symmetry" by Bert Hellinger,
Hunter Beaumont en Gunthard Weber. ISBN 1-891944-00-2.
More books and information : Bert Hellinger